I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
