I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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