I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
