he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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