also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
