I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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