Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
