You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
