WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This is my gift to your gina
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
