Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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