News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
