Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
