I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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