youre lurking in front of me
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
