Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
