After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize