idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
being pregnant is like rehab
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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