With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
