is your mom at the bar?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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