dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
