we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
