Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
