I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Define "chronic" masturbator.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
