I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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