i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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