nut hugger
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
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