someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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