i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
