It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
birth control should be required to get into college
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
