Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
