I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
