yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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