Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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