You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
