he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize