Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
