Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
