I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
