I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
