how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Maybe he injected his testicle?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
