party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize