Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
