its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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