Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
