I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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