Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
