Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
