Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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