When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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