is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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