his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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