ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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