My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
