discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
