You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
