You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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