how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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