Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
