Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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