I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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