whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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