your thong is hanging out like whoa
only if we run a train.
done.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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