if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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