i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
