OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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