pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
