yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
