Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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