I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
