In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
