Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
