Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Panties = found
Randomize
